Magical Principle #1

Magical Principle #1 ~ “Talk to Yourself”

Talk to Yourself

3 Magical Principals of a Leading Project Manager -3 Part Series

Magical Principle # I – Talking to Yourself

I walk into my hotel room in Brooklyn, and look at the clock. It is 10:00 PM, I’m exhausted, hungry, and still have to unpack, prepare for tomorrow morning’s C-suite program update, and return my team’s calls. ARGH!!! Whoever thinks a career of mandatory travel is glamorous, really needs to rethink that!

I finish unpacking, and remember that I need to call my dad. I drop into a chair, and dial his number. My dad, now in his 80’s, has always been such an amazing man. Retired from IBM at 54, I believe my dad worked harder after he retired, then any day on the job at corporate. He’s built duplexes, houses, and barns, never ceasing to amaze me what he knows how to do! Each task completely self-taught by the simple act of doing.

As I rant and rave on the phone about my trip, my day, the client I’m dealing with, and how I have know idea how in the world I will make everyone happy, I pause. Realizing that I am just vomiting all over him, I immediately know what he is going to say…”Nean, you’ve got to talk to yourself!”

As he speaks the words, I have to chuckle. As much as I cringe each time he speaks them to me, I know he is right. Each of us has had moments, within both our careers and personal lives, when we have really had to talk to our self regarding how we are showing up.

I have learned over the years that there are three components to mastering the magical art of talking to your self. You have to learn to sincerely, be yourself, listen to yourself, and to trust your intuition.

“Be Yourself”

To really be yourself you have to first know yourself. The magic of being yourself starts with not judging yourself and taking the risk of being open. We all make mistakes, and from those mistakes we learn. By judging ourselves and judging others, we use up precious energy that is better served by just getting on with it, and focusing on success. Stuff happens!

In taking the risk of being open, you are showing up ready to both receive and give. Your practice of being open allows you to bring more opportunity to others and yourself, paving the way for you to be a truly authentic and compassionate leader.

“Listen to Yourself”

Your thoughts and emotions combine to produce both your verbal words and your actions. By exploring your internal talk, through understanding what you are thinking and feeling, prior to speaking or taking action, increases your opportunity to show up successfully. The next time you get ready to speak, pause and ask yourself how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and take note of your body language. We often forget that our bodies broadcast out our thoughts, through the subtlest of body language.

Project and program managers are hired and paid to be on the “hot seat” for a living. By practicing the magical principle of talking to yourself, you will find that eventually it will be just as much a part of you as taking a breath, or taking a step! That magical art of talking to yourself can keep you showing up authentic, and ready for whatever may be tossed your way!

“Listen to Your Intuition”

Our bodies are so keyed into everything going on in our emotions, our thought process, and our actions. Trusting your intuition is trusting the signals your body is sending you. Our body constantly provides us with feedback to what is going on around us, as well as within us. If we practice listening for the signals, listening to what it is telling us, our body will us the information needed to guide our communications with others.

Our bodies are always looking out for us, and if choose to listen, and trust, we can make better decisions, with better results. To practice this process, take a few minutes today and sit quietly with your eyes closed, and think of someone or something that you find relaxing, or fun to be around. Notice how these thoughts make you feel. What is happening with your muscles? How is your breathing?

Now, with your eyes still closed, think of a person or a situation that is challenging. What are your muscles doing? How is your breathing? As you enter into any work or personal situation, pay attention in the same way to these signs within your body. If your breath is short or shallow, what is happening? Why are you feeling this way? By beginning to pay attention to these signals to your body, you will begin to learn to rely on your intuition, and your body for clues and information. a project or program manager we all have times when we are put in front of individuals or situations that are uncomfortable, and perhaps slightly intimidating. By taking five minutes to jump into a stairwell, or bathroom and practice a “power pose”, you will be amazed at how much more prepared you will feel to take on whatever is waiting for you!

At the same time, incorporating a mediation practice is a great way to not only ground you for an intense and challenging day, but also help you learn how to become more intuitive. Learning to meditate out of work will make the practice easily accessible, even for five minutes, prior to an intense or “bound to be stressful” meeting or situation. Mind over matter always comes down to “talking to yourself”!

      Always remember…..“How you show up anywhere, is how you show up everywhere!”

                            …show up fabulous!



Conscious Leader Med with Words

Three Magical Principles of a Leading Project Manager is a 3 part series that focuses on the magical principles for project managers to apply as they grown into strong authentic and compassionate leaders.

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